she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
