i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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