Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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