I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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