I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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