I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We are two peas in an std pod
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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