Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
