I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize