I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
