she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
