how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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