I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
