I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
