just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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