lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
