Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
