Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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