Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
