I love black thongs
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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