the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
