..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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