I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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