Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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