eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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