Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
