so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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