don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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