This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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