i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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