i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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