was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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