I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can I color on your dick again?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
