Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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