TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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