Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
