LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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