if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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