saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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