your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize