I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish I only lived at night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize