Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
