is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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