her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
