So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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