I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
