yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
This toilet bowl is my home.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
