Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
