I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
