im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
