Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You are a genius and a whore.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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