This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
