Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
