people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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