Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
