i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
