I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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