i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize