I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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