the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
