Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
