It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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