i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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