Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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