I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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