You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I came so hard my ears popped.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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