I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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