best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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